You see? You're not serious. I don't have time for your silly housewife games. Do what I said and I'll call you back. Otherwise, have a nice life. The phone vibrated in my trembling hand as I read and a second message appeared. Three minutes. You decide. I dropped to the end of the bed, cradling the silent phone in both hands, my brain overloaded with fear and imagined outcomes, my sensible resistance fighting with my aching need. She knew what it was to be vital and alive. I needed to know what she knew. I struggled to my feet, but sat back back down with my indecision. I used to think my life was full and complete, married, settled, days filled with activity. Having met Dana, watching her live her life, had torn the curtain aside. Made me look, made me see. Made me want. Things I imagined, all the things I knew I had missed. I wanted to live, to experience, so much so that it hurt inside. She will show me, I scolded, if I can just do this thing... I stood and dropped the phone to. Mom and Gloria were sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee."Rachel, Mark has his first photo session with Lush next week. Luckilythey use a studio in San Francisco so we don't have to fly to New Yorkand have them shoot Amanda there. The appointment is for Monday at nineAM. It will take all day and they will have their own people doingAmanda's makeup. We'll have to leave early, probably around four thirtyin the morning so we miss the Sacramento traffic, but unfortunately willbe stuck when we reach the Bay Area. Now, here's the hard part, Mark willhave to be Amanda from the time we leave until we return. We're the onlyones that know Amanda's really a boy. He can wear the denim skirt andblouse outfit. The skirt will make him seem more like a girl when theysee him." Okay, I guess I can see your point and it's only for a day, as much as Idon't like it," Mom added."Rachel, I know this is hard on you, I can't even imagine how I wouldfeel if Cindy was a male model. I'd just die, but Mark has.
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